Kirk's Week
by Ael L. Bolt
Summary: A song parody of One Week by BNL, as sung by Kirk to McCoy after a particularly normal week on the Enterprise.


Yup, Charmega parodies again! This time, it's "One Week" by BNL. I rewrote the words, as sung by Kirk to McCoy after a particularly normal week on the Enterprise. (No, do NOT imagine young Shatner trying to sing this, a la Mister Tambourine Man. Imagine KIRK singing it, since the character Kirk actually has a good singing voice in theory.) Even if you have an mp3 of the song, I wouldn't recommend trying to sing or read along. I had to use the lyrics sheet to match up the words at the high-speed verses, and even I can't sing/read 'em that fast. But hey, if you can sing/read fast and sound okay, then do it. It sounds better if you know how the tune goes, but it makes sense anyway. ^_~ Challange: See if you can name all the episode references in this song!  
  
Note: Weird Al also parodied this song. Look it up under "Jerry Springer."  
  
  
Kirk's Week - "One Week" Parody  
By Charmega/Lugia42  
  
It's been one week since you looked at him  
Cocked your head to the side and said "He's dead, Jim"  
Five days since you laughed with me, saying  
"Most of the crew can't even sing a church hymn"  
Three days since you made Spock trip  
Playing pranks on every crewman on my ship  
Yesterday it occured to me that  
When the crisis is over, you're still looking too grim  
  
Hold that elevator, yeoman  
Hey, ain't your name Rand?  
Nice to meet you, I'm the captain  
I call the bridge from the 'lift  
Mister Spock answers, and sounds miffed  
And I say, "Get off my chair, do you understand?"  
Raise the shields just when I say so  
Fire torpedo  
I just blew up the Klingons, don't ya know  
Sulu get us out now  
I don't care just how  
Disobey me and I'll scream out  
Like on that one world with the gang show  
I ran from Cracko  
And I got to call you "Sawbones"  
Gotta beat the fog, do Captain's Log  
Even with gaps in my dialogue  
I don't like Archer's dog, and all his show to top that  
Gotta see the show 'cause then you'll know  
That my whole crew will boldly go  
And it's real dangerous  
Spock's gotta get a new hat  
  
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad?  
Me and Spock making sure you feel bad  
I'm the kinda guy who's late for my funeral  
Can't understand what I mean?  
Well, you soon will  
I have a tendancy to live through the impossible  
I have a history of taking off my shirt  
  
It's been one week since you looked at me  
Poured me a brandy and whined that I'm crazy  
Five days since you yelled at me  
"Taking on Spock in the gym, that's stupidity"  
Three days since the crew went nuts  
It's Psi two-thousand's fault that you saw some redshirt's guts  
Yesterday it appeared to me  
A doctor's the most important man on my ship, see  
  
Last month we had that one fat guy, Harry  
And even before that, my best friend Gary  
Bailey's predjudice on Vulcan  
Because a war's on  
And Spock looks just like a Romulan  
I know I'm a Romantic  
Hey, there's a green chick  
I'm just a kid from Iowa  
I'm just like Pike, a starship captain  
Yes, I always will win  
My mom's name is Winona  
I'm a human, use illogic  
Tease Spock for a kick  
He's the guy who calls me "t'hy'la"  
Gonna brush up on my chess skills  
'Cause a game with Spock can really kill  
Distress calls coming in on all channels, just a new day  
Gotta make reports, ignore the sports  
'Cause my crew's got the moves for fighting good  
But against me, they're blown away  
  
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad?  
Me and Spock making sure you feel bad  
I'm the kinda guy who's late for my funeral  
Can't understand what I mean?  
Well, you soon will  
I have a tendancy to live through the impossible  
I have a history of ripping my shirt  
  
It's been one week since you talked to me  
Come on McCoy, I said I was sorry  
Five days since we had the fight  
Waking the whole ship well close to midnight  
Three days since the Red Alert  
And still our friendship remains almost inert  
Yesterday, when you came to me  
I was grateful to hear you say that you're sorry  
  
I was grateful to hear you say that you're sorry  
I was grateful to hear you say that you're sorry  
Now what about this Saurian brandy you owe me?  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Star Trek and all references belong to Paramount. "One Week" belongs to BNL. I only own the insanity that posessed me to write this song, after my older brother inspired me. (Note: He's writing his own version of this particular song in this particular way; some of the lines in this parody belong to him. However, a majority of the lyrics were written by me.) 


End file.
